Jessica Simpson is a tall glass of water! And she loves her Pizza Hut as this commercial proves! Nice to know if the singing career doesn’t work out she can get a job at Pizza Hut.
Speaking of Pizza, grab your Kenny Chesney at Papa Johns Stadium Tickets at Louisville, Kentucky on May 30. Sure to be a great time!
Seems like some of you were pissed with the omissions on our previous Top 10 Jewish Musicians list. Some of your gripes were legitimate – Lou Reed, Billy Joel – some of your comments were ridiculous - Matisyahu, Bette Midler. In any case, I want to address five musicians we purposely left off the list (Sorry your uncle Mo Goldstein who plays air guitar in your aunt’s basement does not count). As always, the worst is reserved for last. Without further delay, please find the 5 Worst Jewish Musicians of All Time.
#5 Adam Levine
Adam Levine is a hack – briefly popular in the mid 00’s, most everyone now agrees that Maroon 5 sucks. In fairness getting hot Christian Jessica Simpson to commit adultery against Nick Lachey of 98 Degrees fame is a major win for the J Team.
Number #4 Lenny Kravitz
Before everyone starts whining that he is not Jewish lets take a step back and realize the obvious. His name is KRAVITZ…Lenny Kravitz. Anyways, I actually think he is a great musician. I am just jealous that he had bedded the likes of Adriana Lima among others. His inclusion on this list is motivated by pure jealousy.
#3 Madonna aka Madonna Louise Ciccone
I know people will be divided about this one, but the only contribution to music I think Madge has ever made involves that music video for “Take a Bow” where she is slithering around in lingerie exposing a huge rack. Nice. The only way Madonna avoids this list is the very real claim that she is not Jewish. After all MADONNA does scream Catholic no? Not so sure about the whole Kabbalah thing.
#2 Adam Sandler
This actor / musician / comedian offends me on so many levels. Every time I see him I ask myself “How did this guy become famous again”. Granted his Hanukkah song is brilliant, but what else has he done besides shitty films? Little Nicky, Mr. Deeds, Billy Madison…should I continue?
#1 David Lee Roth aka Diamond Dave
After careful consideration, I have decided that David “Diamond Dave” Lee Roth is both the BEST and the WORST Jewish musician of all time. Listen to his lyrics with both Van Halen & as a soloist – great. Listen to his vocals – shit. Zero work ethic, all flash, womanizer – these are all characteristics which are BOTH repugnant and inspiring. DIAMOND DAVE is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.
